When I was younger, my mom had a couple of friends she would go spend a Saturday with. She and her friends would just sit and drink coffee, sometimes smoke cigarettes, and talk. They would talk for hours, and really, all they would do is sit and talk. It seems like occasionally, someone would feed the children, but even that was a hit or miss affair.
I was reflecting on this today, because there is a friend I would like to go visit, but I do not have a current knitting project, and there isn’t much in the way of shared work to do at her house in winter. So, I’m doing this blog post instead.
I cannot imagine just parking myself on a friend’s couch or at her kitchen table, and just talking. I could easily knit, even inefficiently, for hours while we chat. I had one friend who always had something to do, like stacking wood or cooking or hiking or building things, and visiting her was very easy. I would show up with some food, and between the two of us we would busily feed children and leave various projects incomplete. We had the best time.
It seems I am not very good at sitting still socially. And maybe, my mom wasn’t that good at it either- she just did not have much choice. Maybe the social smoking, and the unfinished crochet projects she dragged around, and her hands moving in a fidgety way around her coffee cup manifested her desire to do. Maybe she was too hemmed in by her suburban life, her 40-hour a week job, and her handicap to have the emotional, mental, or physical space to just do something. Her silence on the matter leaves me free to wonder.