Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Fragmented TIme

I'll admit that I cannot stand to be interrupted when I'm involved in a task. It's part of the reason I find parenting babies so frustrating; babies really will need you just as you get 5 minutes into any project or book.  I figure it's part of what makes new mothers lose IQ points. Fortunately, we get them back or at least we think we do, but we're so far gone we cannot actually tell.

So back to this fragmented time thing.

I was recently staying with a friend who I think is actually less busy that the average mother of three, and what I noticed is how rarely she has a solid chunk (2 hours or more) of time to follow a project. It could have been because my tongue is attached in the middle when I'm with her, but it did not look like it was ALL my fault. And it made me realize how our culture really deters this kind of long, reflective time.

As I watched her, I thought of how I actually work more like a sci fi ray gun- you know the kind where the ball of energy coalesces and only when some critical mass of swirling color is reached can the gun actually fire. Well, that's how I get things done, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I can storm through some things when I get to focus that way.

On the other hand, the past few weeks I haven't gotten anything done- what with starting school and Jason working on the catalog and the trip to New York and visitors and another car trip and making applesauce and getting into our extra-curricular activity routine. My energy is diffuse. There is so much to do and so few blocks of time to do it, that I'm not actually accomplishing anything. The garden is not tucked up, no leaves are raked and resting on my garden beds, my pile of compost is still in the completely wrong place, none of our house projects are finished, the cow shed is not ready for the new calf, the chickens don't have roosts.

And I'm someone who DOES have at least a few chunks of time.

I send this thought: Be kind to yourself. Try to find a piece of time that society has not already allocated and guard it; it is your life.

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