Jason's mother arrives tomorrow. We're all excited. The house is extra- clean, and the children have prepared poetry to recite. Jason is taking a couple of days off work. We're ready.
And yet, there's this undercurrent that I would not call excitement. I feel a touch of anxiety, a sense that we need to measure up.
The truth is Jason's mother does not judge us, as far as I can tell. She is delighted by Jason's every endeavor. We have had some difficult times with her, but her love for Jason has not wavered, and this constancy has come also to the children. When she visits, she wants to see what we do; she asks interested questions without offering criticism. Even when she isn't so sure of our ideas, she manages to communicate this without any sting.
Still- she is my mother-in-law, and I want her to like me. I want her to be glad Jason married me. And maybe, she is. But my need to prove that I was the best choice is unflagging. Maybe our weirdness with our in-laws is our own baggage, at least some of the time.
Tonight's cake was also a Martha Stewart (Thank you, Jeudevine Library!). It's devil's food cake. The batter did not seem all that chocolate- y, but we'll taste it tomorrow. I did not overbake it this time, and it did not exceed the limits of the recommended pan size.